#416: Dooring death, beach rave opposition, another airport?
Those pink pipes
Hi Berliners,
Yesterday, while on my morning run, I found myself alone in the park, face-to-face with a snarling, growling, and unleashed attack dog.
The thing looked like it had just escaped from the underworld. It saw breakfast in my ankles.
No other human in sight, I slowly backed away from the salivating hell-hound, wondering whether eye contact was a good or bad idea. No owner showed up. The beast just stared me down until I was out of sight.
I don’t know about you, but I have the feeling that my neighbourhood is being taken over by huge dogs, often unleashed.
For example, an enormous, twitchy young German shepherd just moved into our Hinterhaus, which doesn’t seem like species-appropriate accommodation. Though sometimes leashed, the creature — more wolf than dog — terrifies my children every time it drags its owner through the building entrance.
Don’t get me started on the dogshit.
I know, not all dogs. Not all dog owners. But since the pandemic, the canine population has gone through the roof (now officially up to 131,000, 20,000 more than in 2019 — though many more are suspected becaue owners don’t want to register and pay dog tax). Two or three dogs in a household is becoming normal. Moreover, their human masters and mistresses seem less aware than ever of the effect their four-legged pals might have on other humans.
News below!
Maurice
PS: On the back of our successful summer party we’ll have our first comedy night in September! 100% Funny, the 20% Comedy Night will be at the terrifyingly named Die Göre Comedy Club Sept. 11. 20 Percent’s Andrew Bulkeley will be on stage — we just confirmed with the venue so other acts will be added as they confirm! Tickets here (paid subscribers and Patreons get their first drink for free!).
Politicians would like a word with S-Bahn Berlin
Imagine being so bad at your job that politicians actually notice. Berlin traffic senator Ute Bonde (CDU) has called representatives from S-Bahn Berlin and owner Deutsche Bahn into her office for a crisis meeting Wednesday, according to RBB24. Do we even need to tell you the reason? She’s also notified her counterpart in the federal government of the ongoing problems at the S-Bahn — significant numbers of trains are cancelled daily for a variety of issues — and she also wants to chat with Infrago, Deutsche Bahn’s infrastructure unit that should probbably called “Infrastop”. Bonde says she’ll dock S-Bahn Berlin’s fees if it doesn’t improve.
Death by dooring
When biking in Berlin, I’ve become hyper-cautious about opening car doors. With good reason: A 74 year-old man is in court on charges of negligent homicide because he “doored” a cyclist while getting out of a taxi on Kantstraße in Charlottenburg in February 2023. A 50-year-old cyclist riding in the bike lane to the right of the car slammed into the door as it was being opened and later died of head injuries. According to cycling association ADFC, two cyclists are injured per day in dooring incidents in the city.
Alternative to BER?
The operator of the former East German government airport in Neuhardenberg 80km east of Berlin (known as Marxwalde during communist times) hopes to be able to serve commercial airliners in the next few years, according to RBB24. The number of private flights at the airport has tripled to 9,000 per year since 2012. The airport says its runway can handle planes as larges as the Airbus A320 und Boeing 737 but it needs to install an instrument landing system that can assist passenger jets landing at night or in bad weather. The airport is also home to a large solar array as well as storage for new Tesla cars produced in nearby Grünheide.
Ban beach beats?
I’m enough of a Berliner that, even at my advanced age, I cherish the combo of roasting hot sand, 20°C water and thudding trance techno. The good folks of Treptow-Köpenick — at least some of them — aren’t so enamoured by the soundtrack of the Berlin summer and have launched a petition asking to ban raves at Strandbad Grünau, a lido on the south bank of the Dahme, an arm of the Spree River that flows through the southwest of the city. The petition reads:
“The monotonous and very loud bass frequencies are perceived as extremely disturbing by visitors to the ‘Schmetterlingshorst Sports and Education Centre’ on the opposite side of the Dahme. To make matters worse, the sound waves are carried across the water almost undampened, and feel even stronger.”
Sounds pretty awful. Then you find out that the parties take place just three times a month. Get a grip, people. This is Berlin. Let the kids have some beats.
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Events this week, curated by The Next Day Berlin
🔉Berlin Beats: S-candalo Thursday, 21.08, 7 pm – 10 pm. Hamburger Bahnhof, Invalidenstr. 50-51, 10557 Berlin. Free entry. S-candalo, the sibling duo with Colombian and Chilean roots, bring their mix of 90s melodies and cheeky queer club energy to the garden. Part of their “La Noche” spirit lands here for a summer evening. Catch it before it’s over
🎻 Orchestral Sessions Phase 2
Fri-Sat, 22-23.08, 8 - 10 pm. Halle am Berghain, Am Wriezener Bahnhof 70, 10243 Berlin. Tickets: €43 at the door (pre-order sold out, pre-sale still available for 23.08)
A full string orchestra and 17 gongs in total darkness at Halle. Scelsi’s trance-like vibrations, Xenakis’ tectonic force, Takemitsu’s fragile Requiem, plus a new piece by Avi Caspi
🌞 Silent Green Sommerfest 2025 Saturday, 23.08, 2 pm – 8 pm. Silent Green, Gerichtstr. 35, 13347 Berlin. Free entry.
A summer afternoon with concerts by KOOB:small, Mykola Lebed and Milan Ring, kids’ readings, guided tours and the exhibition “Breathing Matter(s).” Music, stories and drinks. Perfect for gathering the whole family
🥘 Pistachio Street Food Festival 2025 Sat-Sun, 23-24.08, 12 pm – 10 pm. JULES B-Part/Gleisdreieck-Park, Luckenwalder Str. 6b, 10963 Berlin. Tickets: €4 (free under 16) Fresh back from Italy and still thinking about pistachio? This weekend is all about it — from tacos to panzerotti, sweet and savoury, plus cooking demos and DJs under the summer light at Gleisdreieck
☠️ “We’re all going to die — a mostly funny documentary.” Stream it now! ☠️
Factoid
If you’re new here, you’re wondering what the hell are those garish pink pipes criss-crossing the city all about? In a word: drainage. Central Berlin is built on swampy land so every major construction site requires large quantities of water to be pumped elsewhere. A massive number of the pipes popped up during the 1990s post-reunification building boom. These days there are 60km of the things. Why pink? Because it’s the favourite colour of young children, according to Pollems, the company in charge of the pipes.
I actually live within walking distance of Schmetterlingshorst Sports and Education Centre, and my experience is that the booming techno beats are every weekend. (Or at least every weekend in which the weather is conducive to outdoor partying.)
There's also the problem that on the weekends there are often endless rental boats cruising up and down the river, who are also blasting music.
Schmetterlingshorst is in a large wooded area with hiking trails. The block rocken beats detract a bit from the peacefulness of nature.