Dear 20 Percent,
Maybe Iāve been here too long but I now find the habit of greeting people in the doctorsā office and elevators endearing. āHello,ā we all seem to be saying. āI exist.ā
And then everyone acknowledges your existence before going back to their phones or the latest Gala magazine full of German celebrities no oneās ever heard of.
Now that I write this it does seem odd that when you leave the waiting room, you donāt offer a āTschĆ¼ss!ā like you would leaving the elevator. I always go for an enthusiastic āTschĆ¼ss!ā when I leave an elevator ā like itās the best time Iāve ever had on one.
I started doing it ironically, as a joke, but it somehow caught on with me. I do that with words too. I say āyāallā a lot because I lived in Texas for the worst six months of my life and saying āyāallā ironically brightened otherwise miserable days. Now itās part of my lexicon, like cheerfully leaving German elevators.
Itās problematic. The other day I said āGulf of Americaā and couldnāt remember for a few minutes what it was really called.
Have a good weekend. Fall break just started so trains and highways will be full.
Andrew
Our stand-up comedy night, 100% Funny, October 27
A mix of professional German and international comedians performing in English at Downstairs Comedy Club, Oct. 27. Tickets here.
Inching (or is it centimetering?) toward a coalition
It would appear Die Linke, Die GrĆ¼ne and the SPD have negotiated an agreement to begin coalition negotiations ā the environmentalist GrĆ¼ne have invited members to a mini-party meeting Monday, likely to vote on whether or not to enter the discussions, according to rbb24. The SPD doesnāt need member approval and Die Linke already has a meeting planned for Oct. 31 though itās unclear if they could move that meeting up for a vote. Just what theyāve agreed on remains secret ā the SPD and GrĆ¼ne paused the pre-talks talks earlier this week over concerns Die Linke wasnāt adequately addressing antisemitism among members but that was cleared up quickly.
Centimetering toward the present
Forget about the future, our BVG public transport provider will be joining the present ā¦ two years from now. The company will begin replacing its ticket machines with new āvalidatorsā starting in 2029 that will require payment by card. Tickets will be stored digitally in a cloud. BVGās often-thuggish ticket checkers will then scan ridersā payment cards as proof of purchase. You know, like itās been in every other major city for years. BVG says many of its current ticket machines are over 30 years old and 75% of tickets are bought with a card, rather than cash. Only about 6 tickets are sold per day by machines in trams and three per bus driver per day.
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Crooks everywhere in this city
Bulky waste disposal is the latest cottage industry for Berlin crooks after cocaine taxis and apartment rentals. The cops say the number of complaints about sketchy bulk trash disposal businesses has more than tripled over last year, according to t-online. Crooks create websites that look like the official BSR site and lowball estimates for picking up old mattresses or old furniture (I googled ā the sites are scarily real-looking). When the faux trash men show up a few days later, the bill climbs from just tens of euros to hundreds or even thousands, including threats if customers refuse to pay. Just leave your mattress on the sidewalk like everyone else.
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šŗ No more drinking in train stations
ā½ Germany trying Nordstream suspect
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Factoid
Berlinās clan criminals pale in comparison to the Captain of Kƶpenick who, on this day in 1906, made off with an estimated ā¬27,000 from the coffers of Kƶpenick. The faux-captain, Wilhelm Voigt, first dressed up as a captain in the Prussian army and then went to a barracks near Plƶtzensee where he convinced two units of said army to accompany him on the S-Bahn to Kƶpenick, which at the time was a separate city. Yes, he boarded the Ringbahn flanked by two units of soldiers, much like anyone riding an ICE today. He bought them beers and lunch before arriving at the Kƶpenick town hall, where Voigt ordered the soldiers to seal the building. Voigt then went inside, had a bath and seized all the cash the city had on hand. He then absconded. He was arrested 10 days later because his former cellmate ratted him out. He was sentenced to four years for his minor coup but was pardoned after 20 months by the Kaiser because Voigt had become a folk hero for his caper.
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It's seldom that I get greeted back when I say "Hallo" or "Guten Tag" to the point where I think I am being the weirdo trying to import an American custom on a grumpy populace. Don't think I would ever say "Hallo" in a waiting room at the doctor's office lol.