Dear 20 Percent,
I can almost stomach excessive bureaucracy when it leads to a result. A building permit. A new slide on a public playground. German citizenship. But pointless bureaucracy makes me want to leave.
For the past three weeks I’ve been exchanging correspondence with a not-the-Finanzamt tax authority over an invoice I sent to Amsterdam. First, I forgot to submit a related cross-border tax declaration. The tax authority admonished me and fined me €250 for the transgression.
After I filed the declaration they then wrote to say I’d entered the wrong number — why didn’t they just enter the right number for me? I asked ChatGPT and it told me the number I needed to enter on the declaration was 0. ZERO. I was skeptical but I did it and resubmitted.
Two days later I got a letter from the weird tax person that all was good. I had entered the right number and they were returning my €250.
All of that for what? Who did any of that benefit? I had to tell them I had nothing to tell them? Make it make sense!
That won’t be the case at the next 100% Funny, the 20percent.berlin comedy night at Downstairs Comedy Club, Oct. 27. Several German and international comedians will tell you funny things that matter. Tickets here.
Have a good weekend, as always,
Andrew
✨ Maurice is hosting his 20% News Quiz next Wednesday! ✨
Pre-coalition talks are a go!
Welcome to Germany where politicians have to agree that they maybe could agree to work together before they talk about agreeing to work together. Die Grüne, Die Linke and the SPD Thursday agreed to enter preliminary coalition talks after leftists Die Linke promised to abhor antisemitism and be wary of any members’ links to organized crime, according to rbb24. Die Linke has been under fire for alleged cases of antisemitism as well as the appearance of organized crime figures at its election-night party. The talks will begin immediately and — unbelievably — aren’t actual coalition talks. They first have to see if they agree on what’s important in these Sondierungsgespräche talks and then they’ll enter Koalitionsverhandlungen coalition talks. Agreeing to see if you could agree so that you can finally agree. Our current CDU-led coalition took two months to form in 2023, so maybe we’ll have a new Berlin administration by Christmas.
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Quick, approve these buildings!
While the future coalition is in talks, Berlin’s outgoing coalition has green-lighted two high-rise construction plans out of fears the next coalition might halt the controversial projects, according to Tagesspiegel. The urban development department approved four skyscrapers between 75 and 110 meters tall on the vacant land north of Bahnhof Zoo that will include a new building for the Technical University, two office buildings and a residential building. The residential project will include 500 student apartments and 210 apartments for normal people that will be built by one of Berlin’s public property companies. The department also used a legal loophole to approve a 167-meter tower east of Warschauer Brücke that will have 1,000 new apartments including just over 300 for low-income families. F-Hain-X-berg had rejected the project as too grandiose for the neighborhood (the Amazon tower is just 142 meters tall) so Berlin usurped planning responsibilities and has now effectively approved the project.
Tunnel sickie
And in non-coalition yet oh-so-Berlin news, the Tiergartentunnel, the tunnel that shuttles cars beneath the Hauptbahnhof and Postdamer Platz, was only open mornings this week because the city-state didn’t have enough healthy employees, according to rbb24. The tunnel requires eight employees to monitor traffic but two are out on lengthy sick leaves and another called in sick this week, leaving just five to stare at traffic livestreams. I would imagine personnel-related closures will only increase as Germans age and retire.
Four killed in horrific crash
And because I don’t think it’s getting enough attention in national press — a 61-year-old man is facing charges of manslaughter after he killed four teenagers on mopeds in Biesenthal, about 45 minutes north of Berlin, Wednesday, according to rbb24. The man tried to pass several cars on a two-lane road and his car then collided head-on with three mopeds, killing all three drivers, aged 15, 16 and 19, as well as a 14-year-old riding piggyback. A fourth moped was able to swerve and avoid the collision. The man’s car then caught on fire and he had to be airlifted to Berlin for treatment.
🍺 🥨 Germany-wide news 🥨 🍺
🚨 Former intelligence head behind bars
💩 Former chancellor Schröder is a douche who parties with Putin
🔫 Two officials killed while checking hunters’ guns
Factoid
They used to make computers in Berlin. Well, West Berlin. The Nixdorf Computerfabrik was built adjacent to Volkspark Humboldthain in 1986 for 300 million deutsche marks (€153.4 million) and was to make the area Silicon Wedding (can you imagine?). Nixdorf made computers there until 1991. The building’s golden windows remind us Berlin veterans of the Palast der Republik, which was replaced by the historical and architectural disgrace that is the Humboldtforum in Mitte. The Nixdorf factory is being destroyed to make way for yet another collection of office buildings at the site even though the factory now is literally an office building and the site is already surrounded by office buildings.
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