🏳️🌈🔫 #485: Gärten der Welt robbery, two-day CSD, card-only BVG
What's the dirtiest district?
Hey 20 Percent!
My lawyer will be very disappointed. Just as I was readying my Untätigkeitsklage (suit for inaction) the Ausländerbehörde wrote and asked for a few more documents for my Einbürgerung (naturalization). Because to be born again as a German, you first have to drown in paperwork.
Most notably they want updated financial information, which seems unfair — they’re the a̶s̶s̶h̶o̶l̶e̶s̶ bureaucrats who dragged their feet on my application. They should have to go with the information I submitted last summer.
The only one benefitting from all of this is my accountant.
So, there’s finally some movement. Good news heading into what’s looking to be a spring weekend — enjoy it!
Andrew
Many thanks to our new sponsor, the Berlin-wide game TGNG. More from them below!
Garden-level robbery
Four armed robbers burst into an office building at the Gärten der Welt in Marzahn Tuesday at 1.20am and stole more than €100,000 in cash, according to the Morgenpost. The group threatened the two security guards on duty with a handgun and a crowbar before assaulting them and making off with the funds, which was being stored after the weekend’s cherry blossom festival. The two guards were transported to the hospital and officials say the suspects spoke German with Russian accents. Odd that they knew there was so much cash on-hand.
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Card-only public transport
Your Späti and Döner stand may only accept cash but BVG ticket machines in stations have accepted only credit cards for the past few days, according to Tagesspiegel. A technical glitch has made it impossible for the machines to accept cash but it’s unclear when they will be repaired. Alexander Kaczmarek (CDU), Berlin’s top public transport official, would rather do away with the costly machines, since only 1% of travelers now board without a ticket thanks to the Deutschland-Ticket und other discount monthly tickets. The BVG operates 665 ticket machines in our city while the S-Bahn has 500. Deutsche Bahn operates an additional 518 of the confusing machines in Berlin. They cost between €20,000 and €40,000 each and require millions each year in maintenance and repair.
CSD for days
It was called CSD weekend anyway — Christopher Street Day Berlin will now officially be extended to Friday, July 24, the day before the parade, according to RBB24. The extra day will be used for an evening protest at Brandenburg Gate — the entire event this year will encourage people to vote since our government is up for election in September. The parade will take place on July 25. I’m a big fan but always had more fun at the more cozy lesbian and gay city festival in Schöneberg, this year on July 18 and 19.
Not so foxy
Think Berlin’s urban foxes are cute? Not always — Reinickendorf says one of their furry residents killed a dog last weekend and has regularly attacked canines, both on and off leash, according to RBB24. The fox lurks around the intersection of Bruseberg and Klamann streets. The district recommends keeping dogs on-leash in the area.
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Factoid
I’ve stopped using the Ordnungsamt app to report trash (it felt too Karen-y) but Neukölln residents last year submitted the most reports, which doesn’t necessarily mean the trendy district is Berlin’s dirtiest. Residents there submitted 31,139 reports, according to Tagesspiegel, ahead of the 30,458 in Mitte. Coming in third was (predictably) Friedrichshain-Kreuzberg at 23,987. Marzahn-Hellersdorf was last with just 5,227 reports. State-owned sanitation company BSR gathered 60,000 cubic meters of illegally dumped trash last year, netting it €13.1 million of our tax money.
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Andrew, if you're up for sharing - how long since you applied? It's been nearly a year for me so trying to gauge 😅
I feel like I got extremely lucky; 4 months from submission to citizenship.
When they ask you for those documents, don’t be surprised if you’re a German in the next 2-3 weeks. That’s how it went down for me.
Literally the day of my naturalization they still asked me if my employment situation had changed. I honestly don’t get it. I’d been paying tax in the highest bracket for a decade but they care if I’m employed right now?
Anyway, I got the last laugh; 3 months after becoming German I lost my job and - aus Prinzip! - decided to collect ALG 1 (unemployment insurance). (Which isn’t an insurance at all; it’s a “now you have to jump through bureaucratic hoops to get your doggy-peasant biscuit which we administer and thus waste the money you’ve been paying into the pot because a fundamental mistrust in all humans is baked into everything we do… god forbid we lose control over the peasants…” scheme. Freedom? They must not know! We provide them an illusion of this so they do not revolt. 🫡🤭)