#395: Three-day weekend, Kant bike path no more, no more turbo-Germans
BVG ads cost millions
Hey 20 Percent!
Germany’s new government is doing away with turbo-naturalizations where you could become a German after just three years in-country if you learned the language, volunteered a little bit and probably corrected more than a few people sorting their garbage wrong.
Few will notice because hardly anyone except for us 20 Percenters were turbo-Germaned after the new law went into effect last June, according to Tagesschau. 382 in Berlin. 20 in Rhineland-Palatinate. 16 in Baden-Württemberg. Less than 3 in Thuringia. And none in the tiny city-state of Bremen.
The three-year naturalizations were of course part of a broader reform that brought us dual citizenship and, yes, my own faltering attempt at becoming German. I liked the three-year thing as a symbol of Germany’s new liberal approach to immigration but I secretly wondered if it wasn’t a bit too quick.
Like, maybe new arrivals needed to suffer the bureaucracy and tut-tutting of Germans a little bit more before they became one. After all, I’ve been soldiering on for over 20 years.
My own bid is back on — I asked a certain government-funded language institute for a letter affirming my language abilities and I hope to get a morning free next week to just finally submit everything. I’ll let you know next week.
Have a good three-day weekend!
Andrew
Monday’s a day off — Pentecost
The German for Pentecost — Pfingsten — sounds much more fun but the best thing is you get the day off. The worst — most things are closed. Get your shopping in tonight or Saturday, or find out what’s open Monday here. And to save you from googling: It’s when the Holy Spirit, the third god in a supposedly monotheistic religion, descended from heaven, desperately trying to find an affordable apartment with Anmeldung.
Karneval der Kulturen but with more room
It’s Karneval der Kulturen this weekend in Kreuzberg, one of Berlin’s enduring open-air parties. But this year the Sunday parade will be held on Karl-Marx-Allee because of construction (what else?) on the legacy stretch near Südstern. The parade will start at 1.30pm at the intersection of Frankfurter Allee and Proskauer Straße. The street festival starts Friday afternoon and runs every day through Sunday at Blücherplatz in Kreuzberg. Enjoy!
No bike paths for you!
A temporary bike path on Kantstraße in Charlottenburg that many hoped would become permanent will be removed, according to RBB24. The controversial cycle lane was installed between the sidewalk and parking spaces during the pandemic and immediately annoyed drivers. The path makes it impossible for Berlin firefighters to use a ladder truck if an adjacent building catches fire and the reduction to a single lane could also block other emergency vehicles, critics argued. The parking spots will be moved back to their original spot next to the curb and a bus lane will be added, which cyclists can also use. Why not just eliminate the parking spots and keep separate bus and cycling paths?
🍺 🥨 Germany-wide news 🥨 🍺
🤝 Trump and Merz get along, surprising no one
🪖 Not just one but three WWII bombs in Cologne
🛂 Merz can’t reject asylum-seekers at the border
🚧 The problem with German infrastructure
Factoid
Berlin government entities cut marketing spending by €1.1 million last year to just under €16 million as Berlin looks for ways to save, according to Tagesspiegel. Public transport provider BVG spent the most, which seems odd for a service most of us rely on, but it used its €5.2 million to lure new employees (with an emphasis on bus drivers) and advertise discount tickets in hopes of boosting subscriptions. It spent €6.3 million in 2023. Because they love us.
Do any of the other descendants of Zoroastrianism (or indeed Z itself) have spirits and tongues of fire to supplement the sole deity? It sounds pretty old...