#269: Charges for Flixbus driver, Fencing in Görli, Spark up at Brandenburger Tor

Knifecrab has the correct conjugations for you

A bunny named Jesus? Photo: PhyreWorX via Creative Commons.

Hey 20 Percent!

Happy Easter, if that’s your thing.

A small but significant milestone was passed for us this week — no I’m not talking about marijuana legalization. The German government published the reformed citizenship law, meaning it will go into effect June 26.

Foreigners can now apply for citizenship after five years in-country, rather than eight, or even just three if they make extra effort to behave like Germans. But most importantly, dual citizenship will become legal.

Finally.

I’ve thought Germany owed it to me for about 15 years (at least). I’ve gotten up every morning for over a decade expecting a knock at the door. A chancellor would be standing there and would say, “Herzlichen Glückwünsch und danke, Andrew,” while handing me a German-colored passport.

A photographer would then step forward to capture the moment and, as a freshly minted German, I would scream at him that he has no right to photograph me and that he must erase the pictures lest I call the police.

This daydream diminished when Olaf Scholz became chancellor because, as we all know, it’s unclear if he even comes into the office at all.

But now I can (and will) start the process this summer — and become even more frustrated at German bureaucrats. I’m already planning on suing the government for dragging its feet on my application just to let out some of that pent up frustration at the Berlin government’s incompetence.

But enough about me! Enjoy your long holiday weekend! Remember, shops are also closed Monday — except these ones.

Andrew

PS: The hilarious Berlin News Quiz game show is back next Wednesday at Comedy Cafe Berlin! The capable Josh Telson will take my place as host as I’m in the States for a couple weeks. That means I also had to cancel my gig tonight. If you bought tickets and would like a refund, please hit me up at andrew@20percent.berlin (I can also get you tickets to a future show).

PPS: Please visit this issue’s sponsor — Vivid!

Possible charges in deadly Flixbus crash

Prosecutors in Leipzig are considering charges of manslaughter and negligent assault against a 62-year-old Flixbus driver after a Wednesday crash near Leipzig that killed four women, according to RBB24. The driver allegedly had a disagreement with the other driver on the Berlin-Zurich bus that left the Autobahn near Leipzig and crashed into an adjacent forest, coming to rest on its right side. No other vehicles were involved in the crash. An additional six passengers were seriously injured and only three of the four victims have so far been identified — they include a 47-year-old Pole, a 20-year-old Indonesian and a 19-year-old German.

Why solve the problem when you can argue about it?

The borough of Friedrichshain-Kreuzberg has been woefully unable to get the problems in Görlitzer Park under control but it also doesn’t want Berlin’s help. The borough will sue Berlin after the city-state said it would build a planned fence around the popular park and open-air narcotics market after the borough refused to, according to Tagesspiegel (paywall). The Berlin government has no legal right to build the fence and ignore the wishes of local politicians because the park’s problems are local, not city-wide, argues local mayor Clara Hermann (Die Grünen). The fence idea emerged from a security conference last year that sought solutions to rampant dealing and drug use in Berlin public spaces — most notably Görlitzer Park and Leopoldplatz in Wedding. Little (if anything) has since been done.

Reinkiffen, or something

You know how Germans reintrinken (drink into) their birthdays with a toast at midnight? Potheads will be doing the same thing to celebrate the legalization of marijuana possession April 1. The German hemp association wants tokers to meet at the Brandenburg Gate at 11.30pm Sunday to spark up publicly just as the law goes into effect, says BZ. We’ve talked about it before but the new law — like everything in Germany — is complicated. You are allowed to possess 25 grams of weed and cultivate up to three plants — but you can only buy from clubs to which you belong and that also only grow their own. This week’s Knifecrab (below) takes a look at how the change will affect chronically language-resistant expats/immigrants.

Knifecrab

You can find more Knifecrab on Insta and check out their standup comedy newsletter: The Authentic Comedian.

Factoid

Each of those boxes contains a printed response from a Bürgeramt to an e-mail question. Photo: DHL Group

The last nightly flights of domestic mail lifted off Thursday, including flights in each direction between Berlin and Stuttgart. The flights began in 1961 to ensure rapid correspondence in then-West Germany but they are now being halted. Deutsche Post deftly spun it as a contribution to the environment but we all know the real reason — everyone except German bureaucrats has all but forgotten snail mail.

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