#311: The subway will soon come less often

Plus how Berlin got two new pandas

The new twins’ siblings, Pit and Paule, in 2021. Photo: Zoo Berlin

Greetings from the North Sea 20 Percent!

I’m writing to you from my vacation here on the coast which, thanks to mild temperatures and insane winds, feels more like captivity.

But I’ve made two unexpected discoveries here in Schleswig-Holstein — tax evasion is just as pervasive and people are just as — if not more — grumpy than Berliners.

Hand-written “keine Kartenzahlung möglich” signs are more common than sea gulls and locals have been unhappy with us for both trying to enter a rural church while they prepared for a concert and for sitting at the wrong (yet very scenic) table in the breakfast room.

I don’t know why I’m paying for this — I could be this unhappy in Berlin.

Have a good (hopefully sunny) weekend!

Andrew

Hey, how’s your German? Because I’m doing my solo comedy show “Accidentally German” auf Deutsch at the new Downstairs Comedy Club in Mitte on September 19. Feel free to book the discounted (ermäßigt) tickets because you’re a 20 Percent reader! 🎫 Karten (tickets) 🎫

It’s twins!

Congrats to Panda mom Meng Meng who gave birth to twins early Thursday at the Berlin Zoo — she was artificially inseminated in March and the pregnancy was confirmed just 11 days ago. The sex of the cubs is unknown — the zoo is respecting their privacy (to steal a joke from Ellen, they’re actually too little to determine yet). Fun fact: Pandas usually only raise one cub so the zoo is swapping cubs every three hours to encourage Meng Meng to raise both — she successfully raised her first litter from 2019, Pit and Paule, who have since relocated to China.

Fewer U-Bahn trains is somehow better

The new-ish boss of public transport provider BVG wants to make things worse in order to make things better for the city’s subway riders. Henrik Falk, who took the post Jan. 1, is considering keeping the frequency of trains constant throughout the day to offer customers more reliability, according to Tagesspiegel (paywall). Lines that run every 5 minutes at peak and then every 10 minutes at other times could just run every 7 minutes all day. Trains would then be less likely to break — more cars could be added to ease crowding. He laid the blame for current subway issues with supplier Stadler, which is late on delivering new trains. The late deliveries means much of BVG’s rolling stock is overworked and overdue for maintenance. Things should get more reliable once new trains arrive but not more comfortable — Falk wants to stabilize service at the current level, not expand.

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Komische Oper to become keine Oper?

Berlin’s €3 billion budget shortfall may soon get real for opera fans — halting the ongoing renovation of the Komische Oper on Unter den Linden often appears when talking about possible cuts. The upgrade is estimated at €450 million, which is more likely €1 billion if you know anything about German construction projects (BER, Stuttgart 21 and the Elbphilharmonie in Hamburg). The opera is currently housed at the Schiller Theater in Charlottenburg and now may never come home — Mayor Kai Wegner (CDU) said he won’t even rule out selling the decrepit opera house to avoid renovation costs, according to taz.

Germany-wide news

😂 German navy plays Imperial March (think Darth Vader) on Thames

👨🏼‍⚖️ Accessory to 10,500 murders, two years probation

🖥️ A new chip factory has them calling it ‘Silicon Saxony’ 😂😂

🛳️ Federal, local governments paying €400 million to save cruise-ship maker

Factoid

When Wolt delivers your bedroom. Photo: onnola via CC2.0

Bed bugs were the No. 1 reason for pest-control calls (37% of calls) in Berlin last year followed by perennial bullies, wasps (11%), according to pest control service Schädlingshero. The national trend is the other way round — wasps at 26% and bed bugs at 18%. Third place in Berlin went to cockroaches (7%) while mice and rats shared fourth (6%). No statistics were given for BVG ticket checkers. Fun fact No. 2: Pest control workers are called ROOM HUNTERS in German (Kammerjäger).